April 2006


You know how some people are just Algebra People, and others are Geometry People? Well I’m a Geometry Person. See how much I love Geometry!?

The angles just add up for me. Mom says she’s a Geometry Person too. Dad says he’s a Calculus Person, but that’s Breaking the Hypo to use the law school lingo.

Oh, and I love my hand too, as you can see. Mom is thrilled because I’ve obviously mastered Grasping Toys, and Bringing them to my Mouth (not to mention Sucking my Hand, which I mastered months ago). As you can see I’m also adept at Multitasking, but that’s not on her Milestone Chart, so I guess it goes unnoticed. You know us Straws, always off the charts! LOL.

I know, I know, these are all the Dreaded Milestones, but as I mentioned yesterday I’m starting to feel sorry for this whole dejected family. So I’ll offer these ones up just to cheer up my Mom.

No worries, Giggle Embargo, Day 6. Keep the Faith.

xoxo

-Tess

I’m actually starting to feel a little sorry for myself.

I mean, when this whole Embargo thing started, I was protesting. I was The Angry Young Woman. As a matter of principle I didn’t WANT to giggle. But now, five long days into the protest, I realize the horrible truth of the matter. My parents Just Aren’t Funny.

I can’t blame them I guess. Dad’s running around all stressed out over law school finals. He’s up at all hours of the night studying his law school subjects: Constitutional Law, Rules of Evidence, Battle Star Gallactica. I hope he does well on his finals, he’s worked so hard. Mom is working three jobs: Me, her regular day job, AND everything else around the house that Dad’s too busy to get to. I’m dealing with two major party poopers is what I’m saying.

Anyway, no giggles out of me this week. Maybe things will pick up when Dad finishes finals. Until then, I reluctantly continue the protest.

xoxo

-Tess

Did you think I’d break? You underestimate me. Just wanted to check in and let you all know we’re on to Giggle Embargo Day 3.

Mom almost had me when she tried to get Dad to hum the American Idol theme music. Go ahead, try it now, I’ll wait.

You can’t do it can you? Wuuuuuuooooowoooooouuuw. Something like that right? Ha, so I almost laughed out loud at that one, but kept it to silent smile in my mind.

We can all breath a little easier now that Pickler’s gone huh?

Stay tuned on the Giggle front, I need your support.

xoxo

-Tess

People. America. Please. Please stop voting for Pickler. The poor girl cannot hold a note. I know, I come from talent.

I know she’s cute and blonde, but so am I and I’m not up there crying “lonely” trying to drum up the cheap sympathy votes. Boo hoo I don’t have a boyfriend either.

I think I speak for all blondes when I say this. A vote for Pickler is an embarrassment to us all.

That is all. Oh, my vote is with Chris, yeah he’s a little rehashed-Live, or so my Mom says. But he’s a solid versitile performer.

p.s. Giggle Embargo Day 2. Still not giggling.

xoxo

-Tess

Do I look amused?

Well its been a full 24 hours since the beginning of the Giggle Embargo. I’m holding firm.

Mom and Dad have put forth some mediocre efforts if you ask me. They’ve forgotten, I’ve been consuming high brow humor for quite a while now. My sense of humor is finely tuned. Bear Puppet, not funny. You know my stance on Bears. Peek-a-boo, you’re seriously boring me now.

Yawn. Wake me up when something funny happens.

Well as you know I turned three months old recently, April 16th to be exact. So now that I’m well into my third month of life, Mom and Dad have started checking in on certain “Milestones” that I’m supposed to have achieved.

I’m really not so amused by this. Its just too much pressure for a three month old. And, in fact, I’m going to protest. I’m refusing to giggle. That’s right. They can read all the baby books in the universe, the entire “What to Expect” series, and nothing in there is going to help them to get me to laugh, giggle, or even squeal in delight. I just won’t do it. This monkey does NOT dance on command. Dad can hyperventilate doing his “booga booga booga” thing all night long for all I care, not cracking a giggle here!

I wasn’t aware of this little program that Dad had going until this morning when they snapped this photo:

This photo looks innocent enough. I am always happy to pose for a photo. I’ve even been told I’m quite photogenic.

But when I saw this snapshot on my laptop, I was like “WAIT A MINUTE!!!! WHAT IS THAT BEHIND MY HEAD????!!!” It’s a triangle ruler thingy used to measure angles. Specifically this triangle ruler thingy is being used, diabolically, to measure the angle at which I’m holding my head. Dad wanted to prove that I was holding my head at 90 degrees, a supposed “milestone” for my age group. Can you say Pedantic? Sheesh, Mom and Dad, if you’re reading this, I’ll get to your so-called “milestones” when I’m good and ready! And until you two get a life, you’ll hear no giggling out of me! HA!

So back to our Easter fesitivities. On Easter Sunday my cousins and their neighbors all got together for a huge Easter Egg hunt. I couldn’t really keep up with all the action from my stroller, but next year I’ll be ready! Here’s me with the gang before the hunt:

Dad felt bad about me missing out on the hunt action, so he thought it would be neat if I got some grass time, even if I was way too slow to find any eggs. Here’s me during my very first experience with actual dirt and grass (we don’t get much of that stuff in New York.

Wow let me tell you that was pretty weird, and sort of itchy if you ask me. I’m sure it will be more fun when I’m running across it instead of mowing it with my chin.

After the hunt we went to the pet shop with Shannon and Casey. Do you know what a pet is? Well pets can come in all shapes and sizes. Shannon and Casey got fish, but the shop also carried bunnies, lizards, rats and frogs. But my favorite by a long shot were the PUPPIES!!!! Oh. My. God. I now know what my purpose in life is: to own and care for a puppy, preferably a yellow fuzzy one. If I could just get my hands on one of these, my life would be complete:

What do you think Dad, can I have one? PLEEEASE????

Phew I’ve had a huge weekend over here! Am I ever tired. This morning I had to have an epic nap to catch up on my rest. I met so many people and did so much new stuff, I’ll have to report in parts or else I’ll tire myself out again!

Saturday I took the train with Mom to Stamford, where I met my Grandpa Marino for the second time. Love Love Love Grandpa Marino. We talked and laughed, it was a blast.

Grandpa Marino drove us to meet my Grand Uncle Doc and Aunt Marie, more Marinos!!!! Aunt Marie made us a wonderful lunch and also gave me another hand knit blanket, this time for my doll, very cute! I’m thinking of taking up knitting myself someday, as soon as I get the swing of this opposable thumb thing.

Here’s me and Uncle Doc:

Aunt Marie sent us home with an Easter Bread, an Italian tradition, yuuumm. Next we drove to Wilton to celebrate Easter with my cousins. Before we talk about Easter, check out my adorable outfit from Saturday, and before you ask, yes, that’s a kilt!! (I am a quarter Scottish after all!):

So where was I? Oh yea, Easter. Easter was everything it’s cracked up to be, and then some!!!

So there’s the Easter Bunny, did you know about this? Well he comes with baskets of candy for all the children in the world. And somehow the Easter Bunny knows about me! He’s got to be some crazy logistics expert because I was certain I wouldn’t get on the roster until next year.

Anywho, here’s me with my Easter stash.

Ohh, getting sleepy over here. I better get some shut eye, but tune in later, more to cover, egg hunts, my first time on the grass, and more!

xoxo

-Tess

Hi Everyone, I just wanted to drop by to wish everyone a Happy Easter! Have you finished your Easter shopping yet? We did! Here’s me at Easter Headquarters:

Not sure if you can see in the photo, but those are the Chocolate Bunnies, or more specifically, the Chocolate Cowboy Bunnies, sold only in pairs (inspired by the film “Brokeback Mountain”). How romantic!

Not big on Easter Shopping? I know, I know, usually we think of Christmas as the big shopping holiday. But really Easter is the bigger event, right? At least Dad says so. I can’t quite figure out what Christmas and Easter are all about, but I think it has something to do with the Birth of Chocolate. Maybe next year Dad will explain better. Anyway, have a great weekend everyone!

Hi. I apologize for being abrupt in this entry, but I can’t waste any time. There is a seriously dangerous product on the market and it needs to be recalled, like ASAP! It’s the “Bumbo,” the so-called “snug and cozy environment for your baby.” Ha! “snug and cozy!???” try “cruel and terrifying!!!” Check out what happened to me when I got into my Bumbo. Note – this photo has not be altered in any way:

Good thing Mom and Dad acted fast. As soon as they saw my horrified expression they ran around the room like crazy people snapping photos, no doubt for the imminent lawsuit. Sometimes having two lawyers in the family really pays off. Bumbo people, BEWARE, we’re gonna sue the pants right off your BUMBO!

Next Page »