I told Mom we’d find something to spice up the montage. I’ve gotten much more mobile these days, especially since Mom and Dad let me open my present from Grandma and Nana early!!! Check it out:

I’ve got the need for speed too, I tell ya. Once I get going at a good clip, with the wind blowing in my hair, there’s nothing more thrilling. Look at me here, totally in the zone:

Occassionally when I forget how much it hurts to fall, I’ll take my hands off the wagon and do some freestyle standing, but only for a second. Mostly I like to push the wagon back and forth across the apartment, sometimes Rag-a-muffin Girl tags along for a ride which is fine by me, she doesn’t say much, which is how I like it.

Anyway, only One More Week ‘Til Christmas!!!! I CAN’T WAIT!

xoxo
-Tess

My genetic background is no secret — I’m a little bit of this and a little bit of that. To be honest, it’s all a little abstract to me. I’m 1/4 Scottish. But what’s a Scotch? So today we conducted the first empirical study, and the results are in: I’m definitely part Italian!

This evening I was hangin’ in my cell after dinner — unpalatably bland peas and boiled potatoes… .uuuugggg. So I was playing with Ragamuffin Girl (we’re actually kind of hitting it off these days), and Mom decided I could join her and Dad at the dinner table. I must have played my cards right because before I knew it I was bellied up to a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, and Mom’s letting me lick the spoon!!!!!!

Man that stuff was like, like, I don’t know becuase I’ve never had any addictive substances, but if I had, I imagine it would be like this red sauce stuff. YUM.

Not sure yet what it does for the complexion. We shall see.

Can’t wait to see what’s on the menu tomorrow.

xoxo
-Tess

I’m 5 months old today!!! Yeah!

That’s almost half way to a year! It’s not technically a real birthday, which I understand only happens once a year. But anyway, birthdays are not like normal days. Today I learned that when it’s your birthday very special things happen.

It all started early this morning. I woke up in my crib and I was going about my business. Doing my usual stretching and yawning routine, sucking on my Lovey, waiting for Mom to notice my rustling noises. Next thing I know, Dad is hopping out of bed like a spring (which he NEVER does) and he’s grabbing me. Then he’s throwing me into this, this, Massive Command Center of sucking, spinning, flashing, popping and beeping TOYS.

This is me in my new Exersaucer, it’s my Birthday Present! It was a complete surprise!

Apparently Dad snuck the Exersaucer into the apartment late last night after I went to bed, and he and Mom stayed up ’til the wee hours assembling it. Then this morning, there it was!

I spent all day playing in it. I haven’t even gotten to all the toys yet, let alone the bouncing and spinning functions. This thing blows all my other toys away. Seriously, check out this bad boy:

What fun! Now I’m totally pooped and have to go to bed. Can’t wait ’til tomorrow to play in it some more!

xoxo
-Tess

All this hub-bub over giggling, and no one is paying attention to how well I’m doing on my other To-do list items. I’ve been working around the clock on item #3: “Put Everything in My Mouth.”

You see I can’t be sure if an item is a Friend of Tess or an Enemy of Tess, until I Put it in my Mouth. Once I’ve got it in there —

and I like to really jam it up in there good —

I can stick my tongue all over it, slobber on it, taste it, and REALLY get to know it.

Once I’ve got something in my mouth, I can say, without a doubt “I like you” or “I really don’t care for you” or even “I LOOOOVE YOU.” So far, I love pretty much everything!

As you can also see, I’ve made up with my Bumbo. I just can’t hold a grudge. I guess I’m just a lover, not a fighter.

xoxo
-Tess

As my regular readers know, I was less than thrilled with my Bumbo baby chair. Not only did it cramp my style, the non-stop parties and trips to the beach they promised me never materialized.

Now, someone other than Mom and Dad has filed suit against my favorite company: Baby Einstein. Apparently, their videos won’t make me a Baby Einstein after all - it was all false advertising. Dad says he expected nothing less from Disney.

The good news is that Dad stopped trying to turn me from a Geometry person into a Calculus person. The bad news is that my only source of entertainment now is listening to him sing the alphabet song twenty times a day.

People. America. Please. Please stop voting for Pickler. The poor girl cannot hold a note. I know, I come from talent.

I know she’s cute and blonde, but so am I and I’m not up there crying “lonely” trying to drum up the cheap sympathy votes. Boo hoo I don’t have a boyfriend either.

I think I speak for all blondes when I say this. A vote for Pickler is an embarrassment to us all.

That is all. Oh, my vote is with Chris, yeah he’s a little rehashed-Live, or so my Mom says. But he’s a solid versitile performer.

p.s. Giggle Embargo Day 2. Still not giggling.

xoxo

-Tess

Hi. I apologize for being abrupt in this entry, but I can’t waste any time. There is a seriously dangerous product on the market and it needs to be recalled, like ASAP! It’s the “Bumbo,” the so-called “snug and cozy environment for your baby.” Ha! “snug and cozy!???” try “cruel and terrifying!!!” Check out what happened to me when I got into my Bumbo. Note - this photo has not be altered in any way:

Good thing Mom and Dad acted fast. As soon as they saw my horrified expression they ran around the room like crazy people snapping photos, no doubt for the imminent lawsuit. Sometimes having two lawyers in the family really pays off. Bumbo people, BEWARE, we’re gonna sue the pants right off your BUMBO!

We pulled the Bjorn out again and tried it in the front-facing position, what fun!!! I had a whole new perspective on things. Dad loves it too.

There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you all. I know it looks like we have this perfect little life, Mom, Dad and Me. But this is an internet blog, and it’s supposed to be about my deepest darkest feelings, right? So I have to share this with you. We have an addict in the family. That’s right, Dad is a Chocoholic. But please don’t pity me. He has it under control.

You see, without Chocolate, Chocoholics have trouble functioning in daily life. They’re ornary, have trouble concentrating, and their sense of humor is completely diminished, almost non-existent. Through the help of CA (Chocoholics Anonymous) Dad has learned that he must seek Chocolate on a daily basis to keep his Chocoholism under control. Luckily we have a chocolate shop right down the road.

So every day, to help Dad cope, the whole family goes on an outing together to the chocolate shop.

…. and we get Dad his Chocolate…

It’s the least we can do to help him, he suffers so. I feel so much better getting that off my chest. Like I said, don’t pity me. We’re a strong family and we’re coping.

xoxo

-Tess